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When someone asked Dean Karnazes why he ran crazy-far distances, he said :"To me, life is about struggle. If I'm not pushing myself, then I'm not happy. People think that if we had every damn comfort available to us - if we removed all the struggle - we'd be happy. I think there's a lot of miserable people out there, and one of the reasons is, there's no struggle. They're taken care of every day. But I think there's a lot of happiness in suffering."

I love that dude. He's such a tough, insane monster. I wish I had his calves. They're bigger'n my quads. But I agree with him. I like struggle too. I like the idea that I'm trying to push through shit to get at something more meaningful than day-to-day survival. I guess that's why I seem to dig up unpleasant stuff to do in my spare time.

But there comes a time when I feel like I've had enough of some shit. I got so mad today because someone keeps making me feel like the smallest person around. I guess some people just don't realise when they make other people around them feel like shit. And I wouldn't do that to even a casual acquaintance, much less someone I cared about. So I'm mad. Steaming in fact. And I know that this person just doesn't get it. At least I hope so...cuz if she did, and is still doing it, then boy do I feel stupid. I always second-guess myself and wonder if I'm just being silly...but when it comes down to basic common decency, nothing more, then I draw the line. Enough.

Bah. At times I feel like it's all a frigging waste of my time. And strangely enough, with that slightly depressing sentiment comes almost instant euphoria and relief. It's weird. Oh well...roll with the punches, go with the flow and all that.

So it's off to the Woodlands for the camp tomorrow morning. Apparently the Swedish women's floorball team is staying on our floor and Tony has reported that they have a penchant for changing in the open. Silver linings and all that I suppose.

Bring on the struggle. I need something to take my mind off all of this other nonsense.

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