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I get to a point in life when I wonder when I'll ever figure it out. I mean, how many times will I have to whack my head against the wall before I finally understand what it's all about ?

There's only so much more of a battering that the old carcass and what's in it can take I reckon before everything falls apart in little bits on the floor.

Don't get me wrong though. It's not been a bad run...a few laughs along the way, some good friends and things that can only make you smile.

But there's been so much potential for things to be so much better. And yet so much of what has gone down in the past few months have left me feeling like a fool AND an asshole at the same time, which is not a great combination I can tell you.

Bad luck, bad choices, bad decisions...just plain bad. This kind of spiritual environment cannot be conducive for any kind of happiness. I guess that's why I just want peace. I don't care if it's not happiness, I just want the absence of nonsense and crap and all that other stuff that has been floating around me lately. Sigh, just reading this last paragraph makes me feel bitter. And I hate that.

I think that's about all I want to say about that...any more would be giving it, whatever "it" is, more air-time than it deserves. So, to the future. Whatever it may bring, it can't be as bad as what has come before. I hope.

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